It doesn’t matter if I’m walking the aisles of the grocery store while my kids fight over cheese sticks, coaching my team on a late night call after I put everyone to bed, or rocking one to sleep while reading the other a story… I’m not sure if there’s ever a moment that I have it all together. As moms we constantly judge ourselves against what we see on television or what’s been posted on the gram of what mom life is ‘supposed’ to look like. It’s easy to start painting the picture the moment we get positive pregnancy tests of exactly what life will… and won’t look like. We set the scene with what gear we’ll use to make life “simpler” and start to map out in our minds how we plan to adjust. And to be honest, we cycle this same path at every stage.
We carve out times for date nights with our husbands, workout time at the gym, and “mom time” if there is such a thing as best we can but if you’ve ever been there, you know. These moments can happen and we still feel… off. We did the things, made time for the moments, tried our best to practice self care and things still feel… off.
Then, comes the single most asked question I get as a mom of 2 and maybe you get it too…
HOW DO YOU BALANCE IT ALL?
“How is it that although I’m trying my hardest to do and be all the things that I still don’t fully feel like myself? I don’t fully feel like I’ve done enough?” If you’ve ever felt that give me an ‘Amen’ sister in the comments!
I wish I could give you some real, legitimately therapeutic advice. (or maybe once you accept the reality bomb I’m about to drop it will be just that.) But being a mom these last 5 years has taught me the simplest of lessons.
Manage your expectations. Period. And if I had to give you sub-advice? Be kind to yourself and ONLY DO WHAT YOU CAN DO!
You were born for this role you’ve taken on. As mom. As wife. As Sister. Friend. All of it. Which also means that you’ve got all the tools you need within you to fulfill it. So be kind. You lack nothing. BALANCE is a word for scales, not people. And surely not moms. You do and give your best however you can. Be intentional about being present, and the most important part? Give yourself GRACE. for slip-ups, for errors, and honestly for sometimes being a flat out hot [tail] mess!
Find some sources for personal development and inspiration (click the link for some of my favorites), create a schedule to stick to, make your list of priorities (check out this post for some tips + boosting productivity without stress), but always give yourself the grace to always be ENOUGH! To live a “balanced” life means that in some way shape or form things are EVEN, LEVELED on all sides and as much as we try, its hard to live that life all the time. so offer yourself some wiggle room!
Take a deep breath girl! And Relinquish control over who you perceived yourself to be before you stepped into these shoes. Some things will make the cut on some days, and then they won’t. There will be days you’ll make it to the gym with old milk on your workout shirt, but you made it. Other days you’ll have every intention to make girls night but you’ll fall asleep instead. And haven’t we all had the days that you miss your alarm and roll out of bed 20 minutes late? But then there will be the days that you will absolutely KILL IT!
My point is, there aren’t any hard set rules for what a “balanced” life is supposed to look like. You get to set the rules. You get to be and do your best, and you aren’t obligated to hold any of that to anyone’s standard (albeit, even your own wild ones). Properly manage your expectations and do so in a way that you always hold yourself accountable. But release the need to apply fake pressure. You’re still an amazing wife, you are still adored by your tiny humans, and you are still on track to becoming your best.
Keep pressing and keep trying. Strive every day to become greater and a lot less conformed. Push forward to seek meaning and purpose in all that you do instead of shaving away your idiosyncracies to fit into somebody else’s box!
You’ve got this girl! Balanced or not. And Just imagine how powerful you’ll be, the moment you embrace all the times you spent a little longer than you planned making sure that something that you created was your best. Or the times that you yelled too much but used it as a moment for growth. The time you ditched girls night for a bubble bath, and the times you choose a book with your kids over Bible Study… you see, balance becomes less about perfection and more about very small, intricate choices that help to shape and mold us into who we wish to become.
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